Fishy

Publishing my first book, The Color of Roses, was exciting, no doubt about it. But using a self publishing company made it seem like it wasn't real.  I felt like a pretender. After all, you pay the money and they publish the book.  No guarantee if it's going to sell. In fact, statistics are a disappointing 8% return on your investment. I'm doing better than that, but have a long way to go.

Traditional publishers, on the other hand, are the ones who decide if your book is worthy of their time, money, and effort. One author who's done the traditional publishers said she just got tired of the rat race.  I'm too old to be in any kind of race, rats or otherwise.

Self-publishing has its advantages, let me hasten to add.  The author controls the content.  Traditional publishers have too much say in what goes into a book.  For me, controlling the content was vital.  It's very distressing to see Christian authors who include graphic sex in their books.  That's not me.  I don't believe God is honored by doing that.

I'm still going with a self publishing company.  However, this time, I had to submit my work and they had to approve it.  That makes me feel more like I'm actually an author.  It takes a while to believe the dream has come true and it's done so because others have said it, not because I've forced the issue. Proverbs say to let the lips of another praise you, not your own.  I try to live by that.

In college, my fellow students nominated me and I was chosen to be included in "Who's Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges," 1991 edition.  I told one student who voted for me I didn't know whether to kiss him or slap him.  It was such a shock and such an honor to be so highly respected among men and women the age of my children.

To have my work chosen is like that. I am shocked and honored. Bob, bless his heart, said he never had any doubt.  Not only does he endure my hours of burying my nose in my laptop, but he endures the frustrations, the meltdowns, and the expense, as well as the highs that come with the good news.

Actually, there's been lots of good news on the book front lately. For example, the craft shows and flea markets have begun again.  Last Saturday was the first of the season.  Walking into the room, a fellow who refinishes furniture asked me when the next book was due.  I was surprised.  I don't write the kind of books I think men will like.  However, men have bought it and men who've read it liked it. Encouraging. And, a woman who bought the book said she was looking forward to the second one coming out.  Still another woman from South Carolina said she'd rather pay the extra price and order it from a bookstore in her home town so it will open up another market for me.  Bless her! Still another woman said she thought my writings were "inspired." No one's ever said that before and I appreciate her high praise. I sold more than I usually do and if I'd have figured out how to use the square, I'd have sold even more.  All in all, it was a very good day.

It's not been an easy road.  I'm a salmon swimming against the current in more ways than one. So many people have been destroyed by believing there's nothing wrong with a sexually active lifestyle. It's the current PC. There are those in the church who've not lived that lifestyle and cannot grasp the pain that those who have are suffering.  They just don't get it. Then, there are those who have lived a sexually active lifestyle in spite of what they've been taught. They may feel condemned by what I write, but if so, they are causing themselves even more unnecessary pain.  My objective is to show that God's way is best and if God's way has not been followed, there can be redemption. My son said I was limiting my audience by my message and I am, but this is the message I believe God has given me and I will run with it as long as He provides the message.

So, stay tuned. Prompted by Love updates will be posted as new information becomes available. Thanks for your support.

A Good Man

Recently, someone made a crack about men not being like a romance novel hero.  I disagree.  They're out there.  I just reread about one yesterday.  His name is Boaz and he's the romantic hero in the book of Ruth.

Before I begin to share what I learned about him, I want to mention the first thing I noticed as I read. I'm sure everyone's read the book Ruth and perhaps you've already learned what spoke to me yesterday so strongly, I just had to share.  In the aside, I noticed that Naomi's daughter's-in-law each made a choice when she told them to go home.  Orpah, as we all know, returned to her people, but Ruth refused to return.  As I thought of it, it made me think of other events in Scripture that show we have 2 choices. Accept or reject. The two thieves on the cross are a second example.  One chose to accept and went to heaven with Jesus.  The other rejected and I'm sure he is now regretting it or will someday. Cain and Abel were brothers who made different choices.  Cain refused to choose the right sacrifice and God rejected his offering.  Abel chose what he was told to bring and was honored by God-and murdered by his brother.  When it comes to making a choice, there are only 2.  Accept or reject.

On to the story of a good man.  The first thing said about him is that he was a man of standing.  He was respected in the community.  He had a position of influence-what influence I do not know, but the Bible says he was a man of standing.

Verse 3 says, "As it turns out, she was working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelek," Ruth's father-in-law. Verse 4 says, "Just then Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters" Coincidence?  No way.  Godcidence.  Even in matters of the heart, God is in control.

Now comes the proof that Boaz was a good man. He greeted his harvesters.  Ever work for a boss who doesn't have time to extend courtesy to his employees?  Not so Boaz. He truly cared about the people who worked for him.  It showed in the response of his employees. "The Lord bless you!"  He was so good to his people, they not only worked for him, they loved him.  That's a good man.

Immediately Boaz spots Ruth and asks his overseer who she is.  Hear the violins begin to play soft, romantic music? So often, men seem to make up their mind about the woman they want to spend their life with like they shop.  Snap decision. See it, get it. It doesn't take long. When he learned she was a Moabite, he could easily have snorted in disgust and walked away.  Moabites were not Israel's favorite people.

Instead, he was impressed with her work ethic and told her to stay in his fields.  He was protecting her.  Strangers don't always fare well in new territory, especially a woman alone, a woman without influence.  Boaz was also a pragmatic man.  He knew the way some men treat women and told them to leave her alone. And, he told her what he'd done.  That had to be reassuring.

When she asked why he was being so good to her, he deflected any pride and said it was because she was treating her mother-in-law right. He knew she had done a very brave thing by leaving her homeland and going into enemy territory.  Pronouncing a blessing on her was endearing, I'm sure.

He made sure she had something to eat.  If that wasn't enough, he not only told the harvesters to not embarrass her should she get too close to the area normally off-limits to gleaners, but to pull out some of the sheaves to make sure she had enough grain.  That's a generous man.

Naomi decided to move things along and instructed Ruth to gussy up and go spend the night with Boaz. Something I dearly love about Scripture is that it tells it like it is.  Do I think anything happened? No, I don't but, the intentions were clear.  Ruth needed a husband, and Boaz was her choice.  Some men are intimidated by women and need a little help.  Apparently Boaz was one of them. Waking in the middle of the night to find a woman laying at his feet was the perfect opportunity for him to pounce, but he didn't. He'd have had every excuse. He'd been drinking. She was a foreigner. She started it. Not even after she practically proposed to him.  That's a noble man.

It makes me think of Dennis Rodman.  He was on a show with a psychologist who counsels famous people with drug and alcohol abuse problems.  Video got out of him being rude and abusive to young girls who ventured into his bedroom in the middle of the night. "What did they expect?" was his defense.  Not so Boaz.

He was a discreet man, too.  He made sure no one knew Ruth came to the threshing floor in the middle of the night.  Some people would have delighted in branding her as immoral as well as an enemy. Women didn't have it so good in those days.  If their husbands divorced them, many were forced to turn to prostitution. As a poor widow in a foreign land, it could have been her lot.  It's no wonder she was so grateful for his kind attention and intentions.

Boaz must have been an older man because he praises her for not chasing after a young guy.  And, he's an honest man.  He knows there is a closer relative who has a prior claim on Ruth.  He seems to be a shrewd man, as well.  When he approaches the other man, he mentions the property first and the man jumps at it until he realizes the first child would jeopardize his own estate.  Certainly, he's shown himself to be a righteous man with everyone he's dealt with, from his employees, to Ruth and her mother-in-law, to the relative who had a stronger claim on Elimelek's property.

Of course, Ruth has a happy ending.  It's not a romance novel unless it has a happy ending, right? As I read, I couldn't help admiring a man who's listed in the lineage of Jesus. Boaz was a good man.  He did romance God's way.  God's way is always best.

Surrender

I quit.  Surrender.  Kaput.  Whatever you want to call it.  Every time I sit down at the computer in an effort to find an agent who will assist me in publicizing my books, I get frustrated with the computer and my ignorance of it as well as overwhelmed at the professional world that I don't even know how to open the door, let alone walk through it.  As my mother would say, I'm in the wrong pew.

Earlier in the week, something happened on Facebook that so tore me apart, I realized I just don't fit in this world anymore.  I'm not willing to be as mean-spirited as I've been accused of being.  There's no disagreeing with some people or they start a fight and I refuse to go there.

It reminds me of the time I was babysitting for two grandchildren of a colonel.  The four year old boy was recovering from pneumonia and being cooped up for a week had him well wired for trouble.  His two year old sister was sitting on my lap and he was beside me while I was reading a book to them. She reached across me and just touched him with her finger.  Just touched him.  He hauled back and punched her in the mouth with his fist!  With his fist!  In her mouth!  I was so shocked, all I could say was a reproving, "Oh, Honey!"

You'd have thought I had punched him with my fist.  He went into an immediate rage, literally screaming, "I'm telling my mother you beat me!  And, she'll believe me!"  I didn't doubt it.  Shaking like a leaf, I went to the kitchen and fixed their lunch, all the while listening to his pent up rage because I disagreed with the way he responded to his sister's touch.   I fixed their macaroni and cheese a little differently than their mother and they loved it.  After lunch, they went down for a nap. With great trepidation, I watched them approach me when they wakened from their naps, unsure if the bombs would continue to explode.  He didn't say a word.  In fact, he was quite loving.  Mom returned shortly after and all I said to her was that he was unhappy with me for a little while before lunch and a nap.  His grandmother told me later about the macaroni and cheese.

Do you see what I'm trying to say?  We are simply not allowed to disagree with others or they go off on you.  Everyone is so angry.  Since the subject I write about is in direct opposition to the current PC, I realized I'm not equipped to deal with that kind of combatant attitude.  As we age, we wise up and simmer down.

Is that cowardice?  I don't think so.  I began my Bible reading in Romans yesterday and the first chapter of that book makes clear what God has to say about sexuality outside of marriage-straight or gay.  If people are going to revile God for what He's said, what makes me think I can convince anyone to pay attention to Him and His Word?  That was Biblical confirmation of my decision.

Then, when it came to seeking an agent, the criteria for taking on a new client is so far above me, I'm not going to waste their time or mine.  One said to have a new, bold idea.  The example she used was a couple who were tired of child-rearing advice from 70 year olds, so they wrote a book about Gen- xers  advice for rearing children.  Wonder how that's working?  I'm 71, going on 72 and I'm trying to gently share the good news that God's way is best when it comes to sex and I'm stupid enough to think 20 somethings are going to believe me?  That's not working for me!

Publishers and agents are in it for the money.  If I want to be paid for my writing efforts, I need an agent and a traditional publisher.  I don't fault them or resent them for that, but I also am highly intimidated by their criteria.  If taught, I'm sure I could run with them, but I'm not and they're not going to take the time to teach me.  Give it up.  Move on.  I'm not by any stretch of the imagination sorry for the past year.  It's been an adventure I'll cherish, but it's light's out.

Having said all this, I also have to say this is not the first time I've quit something and the Lord said, "NO!"  The first time I recall was in Hawaii.  One of the chaplains was our Sunday School teacher.  He did NOT believe Revelations, mocked it in every way he could.  It was disgusting.  As he stood there pontificating, I thought, That's it.  I'm out of here.  I'm going back to the church on the other side of town.

But, the Lord said "NO!  You stay right where you are.  I have work for you to do."  Shortly after, a woman came from Campus Crusade for Christ who's Bible study changed my life.  After months of her discipling, I had more work in that chapel than I thought possible.

The second time I recall was at Moody Bible Institute.  I'm sure I mentioned before that I returned to college at the age of 45 and graduated 2 years later at the age of 47-exactly 30 years after high school graduation.  I'm a late bloomer, so sue me.  Anyway, I was in chapel, listening to eulogies of the six people who'd died over the summer. It began to embarrass me to realize that, as a grandmother, I was attempting to live the life of a 20 something.  I told myself to grow up, act my age and get a job. Again, the Lord told me to keep going.  Again, He brought about vital life changes.

I had peace the instant I told the Lord I was quitting as of that moment.  That was my first confirmation that I had made the right decision.  I also said I was willing to continue if that was His will for me, but...    I will continue to stay in touch via this blog and Facebook, but emotionally and physically, I cannot afford to continue to search for agents and traditional publishers.  Financially, self-publishing, which I really liked, is prohibitive in cost.  Somewhere along the line, I read the statistic that self-published authors get a return of an average of 8% of what they've invested.  I'm doing a little better than that.  I'm at about 12%, but it's too rich for out blood to be a hobby.

Sometimes, the Lord allows us to struggle until we come to the end of ourselves, then He takes up the issue and brings it to fruition.  Would I like it to be like that?  Absolutely.  I love to write.  Been a passion all my life.  And, I truly care about people who've messed up their lives and want to change. How will they know that the Lord offers an even better life if people in the church are not living it? At the moment, it's Soyanara, I quit. Surrender.  Kaput. No mas.

  

Keep it real

We just finished watching a Netflix movie. It was part of an 8 hour made-for-TV movie.  I couldn't wait to see it.  I feel that way about almost all of the movies we get, but I was especially excited to see this one.  Through 3 discs and 7 one hour segments, I was kept guessing as to who dunnit.  The movie managed to keep secret who the culprit was until the very last minute of the 8th hour.

To be honest, that's not the only reason I like to watch movies from Netflix.  We still get them via snail mail, as opposed to streaming.  When we first joined Netflix, we were getting both, but then they started charging for both.  I called and asked if the same movies were available either way.  The answer was no.  The studios decide what is streamed, so we stuck with snail mail.  I knew there was no way American studios would believe we prefer English stories over their own.

So sorry to say this, but the English tell a good story and we Americans too often depend on the special effects instead of good writing.  So many authors and studios in this country seem to have a fixation on Jason Sanbourne.  The hero crashes his car without injury, runs for 30 minutes, leaps off tall building sans Superman's cape, crashes through glass windows, continues to run, gets shot, and keeps going. You get the picture.  Unrealistic and boring. Except for "Red" and "Red 2," but those 2 movies did not take themselves seriously.  It was camp all the way and fun to watch-which I've done several times.

If it's a romance, the sex is often so graphic it disgusts me.  Hollywood did NOT invent good sex, let alone sex. Period.  They just haven't gotten the message, yet.  The good news is that I have noticed over the years some of those authors who were quite graphic in their early writing have dialed it back and I'm grateful.  If I'm reading a book that has graphic sex, I skip over that.  Another thing I skip over is detailed descriptions of jobs or hobbies.  Supposedly, people are fascinated with that.  Not me. To me, it just seems like words are added to make the book longer. I'm an author, so I know about "fillers."

If it's an American comedy, the language is usually so foul I can't bear to listen to it.  My mother taught me that foul language meant a lack of intelligence.  Good writing does not need superhumans without a costume or cape, graphic sex, or foul language. Nor does it need the crudeness of even children's movies and cartoons.  One famous star whose name escapes me at the moment made the comment that the movie he made with his son had none of that because the better fruit is not on the bottom branches, indicating that writing and acting takes work and so much of Hollywood is settling for the easy way out.

Another thing I don't like about American movies is the graphic violence.  I don't need all that blood and gore to get the message.  Over the years, we've watched many, many movies from England and they've kept us entertained and they have little to none of that in them.

Then, too, the English hire actors just like the people you would meet if you went to the police station, or the newspaper office, the grocery store, or your next door neighbor.  They're not all dolled up.  They haven't had plastic surgery.  Every hair is not in place.  In fact, they often wear more makeup when they're being interviewed than on screen.  That makes them seem more real. They're not depending on their appearance to sell the story. The story speaks for itself.

Having said all that, I have noticed that more and more Christian movies are being made in this country and I'm praying they'll continue.  When I learn one is coming out, we try to support it by going the first weekend it's out.  Helps with the ratings.  My delicate sensibilities appreciate good writing without all the crudeness and Christian movies avoids the cheap, easy stuff.

As an author, it's my goal to keep it real.  I want to write about real people in real time.  I also want to send a good message.  Every story you see, or read, or hear has a message.  Some of those messages are real, some are not.  Recently, I learned that a moral in the story is no longer acceptable.  Hasn't been done for over a hundred years.  But, the things written today may not be classics for a good reason.  There's not a moral to it.  I don't ever expect to write a classic, but that does not excuse me from telling a good story with a moral.

 

To write or not to write.

I've joined a group of people interested in being published, along with those who have already accomplished that goal.  Like all entrepreneurs, it's tough getting started.  Very tough.  Like all businesses, publishers must continually evolve to fit the demand of the buying public.  They're in it to make money.  Otherwise, they wouldn't last long and nobody would have anything to read.

However, it's oh, so true that the older you get, the faster time goes and change happens, in the business world, anyway.  I remember the great-aunt who reared my mother.  She was terrified of the buttons on her first automatic washer.  My aunt and cousin caught her in the basement, trying to haul the old wringer washer out of the corner instead of using the new automatic already set up for her.

My dad had a phenomenal sense of direction. No matter how sure my mother and I were that he was wrong and should turn around, he'd keep going. He was right every time.  Then the interstates and their clover-leaf exits and entrances came into existence.  They would turn him around every time. When I drove my mother and my aunt to Chicago for my college graduation  (I was 47 years old!) Mom told Aunt Velma that Dad could never have handled 6  or 8 lanes of traffic through construction at 75 miles per hour. She was right

What can I tell you?  I'm a late bloomer who went back to college at 45 and finally tackled the dream of being published-at 70 years of age!  Over the past year, I've used the expression paradigm shift many, many times.  I've had to finally come to the conclusion if you want to keep up in this world, you can't rest on your laurels if you have any, and you can't get any if you don't make those shifts.  Like it or not, it's a continuous matter of paradigm shifts.

It's no reason for discouragement-or swagger.  It's a matter of continuing to plug, continuing to find role models who went through tough times getting started.  I have often used David as an example. He was a shepherd boy, the youngest in his family, and therefore, the least respected.  But, someone who knew of his courage on those cold, lonely hillsides, fending off lions, bears, and, undoubtedly thieves, told the king and David's paradigm shifted.  Big time..

His fame grew when he slew Goliath, but his difficulties were just getting started.  Mystery and history writers fill volumes of books and fatten their wallets writing about the cruelty and intrigue in high places.  Twice the king threw a spear at David.  Chased him all over the place, even into enemy territory.  When I had a rough time with one of my bosses, I'd think about David.  Well, Lord, at least she's not chucking spears at me.  When David first gathered his merry band of followers, they were hardly the reputable men most people would expect.  According to I Samuel 22:2, "All those who were in distress or in debt or discontented gathered around him and he became their leader." It couldn't have been easy leading 400 men who were in distress, discontented or in debt, much less the family who were loyal in spite of their disrespect. (vs. 1)

I'm comforted to know those who keep going can see the fruition of their dreams.  But, I'm no fool wearing rose-colored glasses.  I also know 2% of anything is excellent.  Everything else falls in a spectrum somewhere below that all the way to failure.  So where am I?  I seriously doubt I'll ever be a best seller. My son was quick to point out I've limited my audience to women in the church.  That is my intent, so best sellers are off the table-(but maybe not my dreams).  Jan Karon did it several years ago with her Mitford and Father Tim series.  I'm not her and don't want to be.  Nor am I Francine Rivers or Bodie Thane.  I'm just saying it can be done-if it's God's will, which is want I want more than any dream to come true.

I loved the fact that self-publishing gave me complete control over my work.  I've labored over every word for a long time and given each episode a great deal of thought.  And prayer. I don't want someone changing the message I believe God gave me just so the publisher and I can get richer. There are some things I will not do.

That reminds me of the Apostle Paul.  He said if anyone preaches a gospel other than what he preached, let him be cursed.  In today's vernacular, one might think he was saying, "Let him go to hell." Strong language in any vernacular.  Honest as well.  Therefore, if I am writing to educate young people that God's way is truly best, I'd better be telling them about God's way, not my own interpretation.

Having said all that, above are just some of the reasons I wonder if I'm really doing what I'm supposed to be doing and going through the tough start up, or am I living in a fool's paradise?  Do I write or not write?  Stay tuned.

Who wrote the book on love?

Remember that old song?  It goes way back, but then so do I.  I can answer the question in one word-God.  Yes, God wrote the book on love, but humans have perverted it in so many ways.  We "love" chocolate ice cream, a movie, a sports team, our pets, the list is endless.

In the Greek, there are four words for love, each with a different definition.  "Agape" is the highest form of love.  It is God's love.  It basically means, if I remember my Greek correctly, to want only the very best for the person you love, no matter how they respond.  That may be why it's called God's love.  He loved us enough to send His Son to Calvary to die for our sins.  He lavished wonderful gifts on us.  Food, shelter, beauty in nature, again the list is endless.  Some people never respond to that and all of us fail at a grateful response at one time or another and yet, He still loves us.

It may come as a surprise to some, but He even loved us enough to create the gift of sex.  Again, humanity has perverted it to the point it's hardly recognizable anymore.  For one example, last week a homosexual raged at me for being a shameful person because he tried heterosexual love, didn't like it, and decided, therefore, that he was homosexual.  Because I disagreed with him, I'm a bigot, among other things. The idea that sex is a teenage rite of passage, an eighth grade science experiment, or anything else other than the 4 purposes for which God intended it will eventually fail.  Then, what?

Take a long look back to the sexual revolution.  It started with people insisting they only wanted peace and love.  Bob Hope said if you disagreed with them, they'd hit you with their peace sign. (Sound familiar?) There was a lot of  experimentation going on back then-or so I'm told.  I was married (happily) and living in Germany when a lot of that was going on.

After a while, casual sex began to lose it's appeal.  Guys were hitting on younger and younger girls and the girls were trying harder and harder to prove themselves as women.  Eventually that wasn't enough.  So many girls who came to the crises pregnancy centers where I worked would say their boyfriend was so sweet until after they had sex.  Then, the violence started.  I asked my husband about this.  He said it's a dominance issue.  Men want to enjoy the chase, the hunt and casual sex made it too easy, causing boredom.  Rapes began to become more frequent, or was it just that more women were willing to speak out and fight?  Regardless, sex had become boring to many who were using it recreationaly.  Homosexuality began to become a little more popular.

Down through history, it has enjoyed periods of popularity, usually in places that had too much free time and too much money.  Then, it will go through a very dark period when they are hated and abused. Neither way is expressing God's love.

I'm told the Greek work for sexual love-eros-is not in the New Testament.  Does that mean God does not want sex to occur?  Hardly.  He created it just for us, so it's pretty obvious He wants us to have it AND ENJOY IT.

Horrors!  Enjoy sex?  Yes, and I can use Scripture to prove it.

For the sake of alliteration, I have found 4 purposes for sex and will state them in an alliterative format. Procreation may come to mind first.  We can't have babies without sex.  Science may be working on it, but I'd just as soon have mine the old fashioned way, thank you very much.  "Be fruitful and multiply," God told Adam and Eve.  It's a scientific reason I disagree with homosexuality. Children can only be produced through alternative methods or by adoption.  God said be fruitful and multiply, but they can't on their own.

I've mentioned recreation.  Several years ago, I worked at a Methodist Mission in Steubenville, Ohio. There were several VISTA programs there.  One of those programs was to assist AIDS/HIV patients. AIDS was still very much in the news in those days.  The fellow in charge of that program was a devout Catholic who said God intended sex for procreation, but people were instead using it for recreation.

He's right about that.  However, there is  recreational sex in Scripture, but it's is nothing like what's being done today.  In the first place, sex is for a man and his wife-no one else.  When a  husband and wife have sex, they're meant to enjoy it.  Deuteronomy 24:5 says, "If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war of have any other duty laid on him.  For one year his is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married."

Take a look at Song of Solomon 5:1 e.  "Eat, O friends, and drink; drink your fill, O lovers."  Most people know and understand that the Song of Solomon is about lovers.  Some insist it's only to show how deeply God loves us.  More about this later. For now, let me say it is to show that God wants us to enjoy sex-as husband and wife.  By the way, in their book, Passion Pursuit, Linda Dillow and Dr. Juli Slattery state firmly that the heading above that verse is wrong.  It's not friends who are watching, it is God.  This verse is His blessing on married sex.

When I spoke to my co-worker so long ago about this subject, I told him there was a third purpose for sex.  That would be communication.  Sex is a physical bond that communicates a couple's love for each other.  It's the greatest physical expression of the deepest love that a couple has reserved for each other and no one else.  Science bears that out.  A bonding hormone is released in a women when she has sex.

The fourth purpose is education.  This may be the hardest to explain and the easiest to misunderstand. Song of Solomon and some people's understanding of it is probably the best example.  We can't see God and we can't physically touch Him.  In order to get a tangible, physical sense of what it like to love Him spiritually, and for Him to love us spiritually, he gave us sex.  Married sex is to educate people who don't understand what it's like to have a close relationship with God.  When our granddaughter toasted us at our 50th anniversary celebration, she stated that we were an example to her generation.  Divorce and living together in short term relationships are rampant today, but it's not the picture she sees when she looks at us being together for 50 years.  Although sexual and spiritual intimacies are different types, they're similar in that intimate bond, similar in purpose.

In that spiritual bond, we have safety, security, peace, joy, happines-another endless list.  The marital bond is a covenant relationship in which two people have the same thing for and from each other and no one else.

Prompted by Love, my second book spells out the four purposes of sex and the accompanying Scriptures in greater detail, but that's for another blog.  Stay tuned. 

Hooray!

Finally.  I was able to do something on the computer and show my husband how to find what he was looking for!  Will wonders never cease.  Actually, it was just a matter of reading the different things I could click on.  However, I didn't have time this morning since I had to go to work.

When I got home, he was trying to accomplish the simple little detail on his iPad.  I told him how.  In the long run, he got there before I did because he was cleaning my computer and I couldn't use it. Guess I didn't show him so much after all.

Three people have told me my biggest problem is that I don't "fool around with it."  True.  I've admitted I'm scared of the blooming thing.  Usually, when I need to learn something new, I'm in the middle of something I know how to do and I don't want to take the risk of losing what I've accomplished.  Then too, if I just start pushing buttons as those three people have advised and I do succeed in finding what I need, I don't remember which button I pushed to get what I wanted.

A very dear friend said to forget paying $60 an hour for lessons.  She said to look into classes for seniors at the Senior Center or at the local colleges.  Good idea.  Just think one of these days I may actually quit whining about computers.  Now, there's a switch.

Hobby to Jobby

A friend once told me writers must be very self-disciplined.  Scratch that.  Well, I've tried.  Take this morning for example.  All set to start my day the usual way-seeking the Lord in Bible study and prayer, but when I opened my eyes, it was daylight and the first detour on the way to self-discipline. Generally, I get up at 4:30 to be alone with the Lord.  Then, Bob greets me with a request to help him wax the car.  Detour two.

Once I start something, I take it farther than the original intention.  Let me digress and explain that in Florida, you cannot wash windows.  They must be polished.  There is some mysterious combination of salt air from the ocean and the dust, pollution, whatever that combines and is very difficult to get off windows.  The only way to be sure the windows, especially the windshield, is clean is to move the car into the sun and see if there are streaks.  Detour 3.

Moving the car showed the carport desperately needed sweeping.  And, the slatted door to the a/c unit needed washed.  Detour 4.  Of course, if the carport needed sweeping, so did the front porch.  Detour 5.  After that was done I took the window cleaner and a cleaning cloths in the house to put away. Instead,  off I go to clean bathrooms.  Detour 6. All the while I'm working, my mind is working overtime, filled with ideas to write on my blog and in book three.  (My River of Delights)

Finally, I sit down to read my Bible and all those ideas are swimming around behind my eyes, making concentration extremely difficult.  Detour 7.  I figured I'd get today's blog done and that would be enough so that I could finally pray.  HA!  Sat in front of a blank page for several minutes before I finally decided to back up and start over.  That was what was needed.  As I poured out my troubled thoughts before Him, I was able to clear my head and get down to business.

Which is why I'm writing this.  Some published authors I respect have advised me to:
1. get an agent
2. give up self-publishing
3. attend Christian writers' conferences to hone my skills to become the author God wants me to be.
This is not a hobby.  It's work and I need to learn to treat it as such.

First, I have to set priorities:
1.  learn how to use the computer.
2.  be more disciplined in my writing.  No more writing when the mood strikes.  Discipline!
3.  investigate and choose a conference to attend
4.  seek the advice of those more experienced
5.  find an agent
 
Oh well, being disciplined and doing what I love is a whole lot better than twiddling my thumbs as I grow old.  I now have a job.  It's about time.

Drawing a blank.

For some reason, the past 4 days, I've drawn a blank.  I do that.  In fact, I'm a very different type of writer.  Most authors  will set certain amounts of work to be done each day.  They'll see to it that they write so many words, so many pages, or for so many hours every day.  Not me.  If I can't think of anything to say, I don't write.  That doesn't mean I'm being lazy, however.  Or undisciplined, which is what "real" authors would call it.  While I'm having down time, I'm thinking.  For example, book 2, Prompted by Love, is pretty much finished.  Editing touches, as always, but for the most part, finished.  Like my friend quotes, "An artist never finishes the work, but just abandons it."  True, but until it actually goes to print, I'll be tweaking.

When I'm not tweaking, I'm writing-in my mind.  That's what got me started in the first place.  The Color of Roses would not get out of my head until I woke up one day in May of 2009 and decided to put it on paper hoping that would help get it off my mind.  It worked.

Since I have sequels in mind for Prompted by Love, there's plenty to write about.  It's about six women, so I have more than enough material to put in more than one book.  I've already decided the sequel will be titled My River of Delights.  Maybe, maybe book 3 will be Keeping It Real.  One of the things that relaxes me and helps me go to sleep is to write in my mind. Maybe I shouldn't say that. My follower or two may think I'm bored with my own work.  No, I like my characters.

They also surprise me.  For example, when I was writing Prompted by Love, the character I had originally intended to be the antagonist (bad guy) in write speak, turned out to be a nice guy.  The one I had no intention of doing anything with other than be a supporting character gets a lot more ink than I originally intended.  I  had the same thing happen in The Color of Roses.  Characters seemed to have a mind of their own.  Many authors have said the same thing.  Weird, but true.

Many have asked for me to do a sequel to The Color of Roses and I'm not opposed to the idea, but as I've said before, I don't write to entertain.  I write to educate.  As of this moment, I don't have anything I want to say about that family that will share God's love and the need to see His way as best.  There's a wealth of material, but it just hasn't bubbled up in my pea brain, yet.  Summer's coming and school will be out.  Perhaps I can concentrate more on writing then.  I hope so.  I really do like it.  Since I got such a late start, I have lots of make up for.

Florida snowstorm

       I like hard copies of everything.  I found out how much today.  It all began last night when Bob asked me if my second book was ready to go to the publishers.  The answer is yes, it's ready for the first steps.  I make hard copies and give them to friends to see if they like it before I approach the publisher.  If my avid reader friends don't like it, I'm sure I'll never convince a publisher to look at it and I'm too old to waste that kind of effort.  I bought 2 binders today to put the hard copies in.  While running off the copies, I checked to see if I had another binder so I could read from paper instead of the computer screen.  I seem to see my mistakes better that way.

       In the hutch over my desk were copies of my first book.  I had no idea there were so many, Probably about 2000 pages that needed shredding from a 300 page book!  That's just plain crazy.  My printer chugged away and I punched holes in the paper in order to put the 175 pages in binders. Made 3 copies.  It was surprising that the printer did so well.  Previous attempts to print 75-80 Christmas letters was more successful if I printed 25-30 at a time.  Otherwise, the printer would balk.  This time the printer behaved and I had 3 copies printed, punched, and bound in less than 30 minutes.

        Then I looked at the 8 inch stack of paper on the floor beside the shredders (yes, dueling shredders) and went, "Ugh!"   Thinking it wouldn't take but a few minutes, I plunged in.  Two hours later, I still have a stack about an inch and 1/2 thick!  Meanwhile the trusty shredder that is larger, older, and in delicate condition from years of use and abuse, has been grinding away.  Twice, it's stopped because it was overheating.  Each bag needs to be compacted, meaning, I have to unplug the machine, clean out the blades and shove the shredded paper further down into the basket.  Otherwise, the blades get plugged.

       That's where the snowstorm comes in.  I have bits and pieces all over the office.  Then, the little shredder, the newer one I bought to replace Old Faithful, stopped.  Jammed.  It's on strike.  Bob is trying to fix it as I write.  Therefore, there's now pieces of paper scattered all over the kitchen, too. Bless his heart!  He did it.  I just heard it start up.

So, back to the grind.  Literally.  After that, it's time to vacuum up the flying pieces of paper before they scatter all over the house.  Hope I have time to exercise and fix supper before I collapse.  And, how was your day?

Book 2

Over Christmas, my granddaughter and I were discussing my next book.  I made the comment that I didn't want it to seem like a 71 year old writing about 20 somethings.  "But, that's just what you're doing," was her response.

True.  However, Bette Davis once said she didn't have to be a murderer to portray one in the movies.  I don't have to be in my 20's to write about them.  I do need a paradigm shift in my thinking and understanding of the culture today.  I've come to realize that today's culture believes sex is merely a teenage rite of passage.  How sad.  How do I get around that and still be relevant?

I'm grateful I realized before I tried to publish that culture is not just a matter of clothes, food, electronics, and language.  I have to understand why they believe it's a rite of passage instead of a beautiful gift from God that belongs to a married couple.  I have to understand why they've settled for so little when there is so much to be gained by doing things God's way.  And, I have to do it in a way that seems like it's 20 somethings who are talking, not me.

I'm also extremely grateful for the young people who have stayed true to what they've been taught-even though it's diametrically opposed to today's world.  They're the better for it.  Progress, as the political conservatives now stress, is not always a good thing.  My granddaughter shocked me when she made the statement that she wished there was no texting.  She, a champion texters!  When asked to explain, she said texts are so brief, they often leave her wondering if the comments are just being brief or if there's a need to read between the lines about the person's attitude.

I've noticed, too, that today's favorite expression is, "Oh, snap."  Unless it has a vulgar connotation, I have to say I'd rather hear that than much of what I do hear.  Are young people actually getting tired of their, angry, vulgar, hurried, devalued  existence ?  Are they searching for something better?  I hope so.

"The Color of Roses" took place in the 1980's and the characters were in their 40's.  That wasn't so hard to do because I was in my 40's in the 1980's.  Even then, there was promiscuity.  John Steinbeck's character in "East of Eden" started having sex for love, but over time she devalued the experience until it became a way to make money.  Not all sexually active people are that unfortunate, I realize, but if we so long to have the very best in every other aspect of our lives, why not sex?  Lord knows that's about all anybody talks about anymore.  Why has it become just a physical act?  What happened to the emotions and the spiritual?  My husband used to get annoyed with me for saying that sex, to some people, was no more than a dog peeing on a fire hydrant.  How does it feel to be a convenience for someone's out of control hormones?

It's often been advised to write what you know.  I know God's way is best.  I'm not a 20 something, but I've talked to people from their teens to their 70's who've said the same thing.  God's way is best.  Help me, Lord, to get the message out.

Awesome God II

God was so loving and gracious to allow Bob's heart cath to go swiftly and smoothly, bringing about such wonderful results.  Betty Elliot said after the death of her husband in the jungle of Ecuador that even if things don't go well, God is still God and worthy of our praise.  She's so right.  However, I must also sing His praises when things go well.  It will form the habit of praise at all times and God is worthy of that.

Today, He sent even more encouragement.  Xulon, the publisher of my book ran a special, making it possible for "The Color of Roses" to be advertised in the New York City book fair late next spring. It's not something I should turn down.  The calling period to take advantage of the sale is 3 hours today only, 9AM-Noon.  I debated on whether to call early and leave a voice message or take the chance of getting through when dozens, maybe hundreds, of other authors would be competing for her phone line at 9:00.

She greeted me with a merry laugh saying she had 74 voice mails to wade through!  I got to talk to her first!  I'm glad I waited.  I'm glad Bob and I prayed about spending still more money without seeing much come in.  Not only was it good to talk to a person instead of leaving a voice mail, she was so good to give me a pep talk.  Ever notice how those crop up so frequently in my blog?  God never fails to send encouragement when I get discouraged.  Awesome.  So, when am I going to believe Him and move on?

Her advice was to remember that with the first book being self-published, I became an entrepreneur and entrepreneurship always has heavy start up costs.  She said it takes 1 - 2 years to see a profit and most see a loss those first 2 years.  I was aware of that because I was a Mary Kay consultant 30+ years ago, but that doesn't make the decision on whether or not to spend more money any easier.  My high school Problems of Democracy teacher used to talk about his uncle who threw good money after bad, investing in aviation during the Depression.  It was so bad, he had to farm his kids out because he couldn't afford to feed them.  Then, WWII started and he became a very wealthy man.

Yes, I know the risks.  I also know not everyone succeeds.  That's why it's called risk, and that's where the concern comes in.  I begin to wonder if this was my idea and I asked God to bless it, or is it truly what He wants me to do?

Kimberly's next gem was, "By the way, your book did VERY WELL in the Frankfurt Book Fair." How much more encouraging could she have been?  I would hope the day is coming, sooner rather than later, when I  stop whining and presuming on God's patience and just be faithful in the small things, trusting Him in all things.  He truly is worthy of my trust.  And He's truly awesome.

Hands off

One question I never expected to hear about my book is how long it took.  I always blush a little when I say 28 years.  That even beats Jane Austen's 17 years and, back then women weren't supposed to do creative and intelligent things.

It's been said you reveal yourself in writing and I've come to realize, scary as that is, it's true. Maggie, the lead character had a lonely childhood, immersed herself in books, was fat, and depressed.  Hello. The rest of her story is pretty much made up, but when she has a discussion with her son, I can hear my Dan saying those words.  Bob was not a Christian when we met and that caused some spiritual and cultural difficulty in our marriage until he made his peace with GOD 24 years later.  There's a very slight connection there.

To me, Maggie doesn't have a sense of humor and neither do I.  If I do, it's self-deprecating. Charlie, on the other hand, does.  So does my husband.  We've lived in a small town outside Pittsburgh, hence the Steelers connection. Then, too, we've lived in Northwest Georgia.  We've moved 33 times in 50 years.  Charlie travels a great deal in his business.  Obviously, I've revealed myself as I wrote.  Even when the majority of the story is fiction, I'm still in there. My attitudes, my way of handling difficulties-it's there.

Perhaps that's one reason it took 28 years to write.  Who wants all their secrets exposed?  Another reason was a lack of self confidence.  I've waffled back and forth for years.  Will it sell?  Will it provide a message of restoration and hope for those who've made serious mistakes in their lives? Most of all, will GOD be glorified in what I've written?

There are those who've let me know fiction will not honor GOD.  They've been adamant about it. There are those who just want to be entertained and I don't write for entertainment.  I'm not condemning those who do, it's just not my calling.  The first will not be reading my book.  The second may (I hope).

Things have been a little slow at school this past week.  Correcting workbooks is generally a huge portion of my day, but there's another tutor on board and she's much faster at it than I am, so between working with boys, what to do?  I decided to reread "Pilgrim's Progress."  A work of fiction that still speaks to hearts today.  "The Color of Roses" is not in the caliber of "Pilgrim's Progress."  I might be "weird" but I'm not a fool.  However, I can think of no Christian who would castigate "Pilgrim's Progress" because it's fiction.

There's also a vicar by the name of McDonald from the 19th century whose family was starving so he began to write fiction to support his family.  In the culture of his day, some of his work may have seemed less than Christian, but he got a wonderful message of grace and mercy across.   That's what I'm trying to do.

The hardest part is that when things seem to be going well, I'm sure this is GOD's will for me.  When they're not, I begin to question.  However, there's no turning back now.  Another author friend was encouraging by reminding me there's always risk involved.  That's what happens when you surrender control to the LORD.  It's His work.  Hands off.

Keep up, Grandma!

Trying to write my second book is a big challenge.  Plot, characters, and location aren't the problem.  What then?  It's the times.  I never noticed how much has changed in my lifetime.  Oh, sure, hair styles, clothing styles, and cars among other things have changed.  That's why I don't like modern or contemporary furniture.  It's obsolete long before we can afford to replace it.  Even worse, it looks so uncomfortable, uninviting, and cold.

I never thought about it, but names also become obsolete.  When I did remember, characters in this book are in their 20's  and couldn't have names like Barbara, Sharon, Bill, or Richard.  No, it's Amber, Ashley, Courtney, Paige, Kevin, Zachary, Brad, etc.  Now, people in their 20's are recycling names from my mother's generation.  Isobel, Charlotte, Sophia.  Boys are given Biblical names.  My great grandson is Elijah.  A boy in our church is "Levi," and there are lots of Jacobs around.

If I want to be relevant, I have to know these things.  Just a few years ago, an award winning best selling author had a carborater go bad in her car.  That word is so obsolete I couldn't even find it in the dictionary to spell it right!  Her editor should have caught that. Our 1987 Bonneville had computer chips that went bad repeatedly.  It took five terrifying years to get it corrected.  (It would die when you tapped the brakes.  Try that on the interstate when 18 wheelers are climbing your tail pipe in Chicago rush hour traffic at 75 mph)  Anyway, that's how I knew cars in the 2010's don't have that thing I can't spell.

The first book was not a problem in that regard.  The characters were my age when the story took place in the 1980's.  Back then, people had names I was familiar with and I used them, but now, I'll have to get my granddaughter's approval for expressions as well as names.  I've noticed ads in the newspaper no longer say "throw" pillows.  They're "toss" pillows.  When did that happen?  Now that the coffee table is the size of a small bedroom, have they changed the name, too?  Are crossword puzzles still popular or are they all doing sudoku?  For that matter, do they read newspapers?  Even that's going electronic.

It seems like about every expression I use, the TV says it's a no no.  I described a character as a "hunk."  Unh uh.  So, I changed it to "hot."  Nope.  What do they say these days?  Someone asked me if I wrote about men from a man's point of view.  Not possible.  I'm not a man.  How am I going to write about 20 somethings if I don't even know what to call them?  Never mind all their electronic gadgets.  That's been a real nightmare.  It's not been too long since they started talking about "Crackle" on TV.  What's that?  For that matter, it won't be long before my 4 year old great-grandson will vaguely remember TV as a thing in his very young life.  Now, everything is being streamed onto ipads, iphones, and maybe even iwatches.

I'm trying kids, I really am, but Grandma is huffing and puffing, just trying to catch up.  Unfortunately, I feel like getting behinder and behinder.

Panic Attack!

Hoo, boy.  The books have arrived.  12 boxes of the, 25 per box.  About 15 or 20 are promised.  And, that's not all.  I'll have to sell 855 just to break even (so i can try it again with my second book).  I've been on pins and needles for weeks, waiting for them to come when it suddenly dawned on me that the number of friends I have who've asked for a book number less than 50!  When I realized how many I have to sell and how few are promised, that's when the panic hit.

Supposedly, John Grisham bought 1,000 copies of his first book and sold them out of the back of his car, so his humble beginnings are an encouragement.  I do not expect to become a best selling author, but it is encouraging to realize even best sellers have to start somewhere.

Now, if I were a little more computer savvy, I'd include a picture of the book cover.  I admit, the graphic artist did a fabulous job.  Several have commented on it, saying it should sell a lot of books.  Your lips to God's ears.

Nice, really nice

The nicest thing happened to me on Friday when I went into the Post Office for the third or fourth time to mail a book.  The woman who'd been waiting on me suggested I go on line and get the mailers and postage, but as my readers of this blog well know, I don't like computers and like purchasing on line even less.

She was curious as to why I was coming in so often, so I told her about the book.  She was impressed to learn that someone in little ole Sebastian has actually been published.  The truth is, there's lots of us.  Why they aren't mailing books out, I don't know, but I offered to show her the cover of the book.

She looked at it, asked me about the plot, which I gave her briefly.  Her eyes grew big, her mouth dropped open in surprise.  "You know what?  This is the story of one the women who works here!"  Another clerk heard us talking and wanted to know what was going on, so I filled her in.

"I want one," she said.  Naturally, I just happened to have a couple extra in the car.  Before I could get out the door to get the book, she called after me, "I want two."  It was her intention to give the second book to the woman life story is similar to the fiction I've written.

Nice, really nice.

All they can do is say "no"

Did my usual grocery shopping this morning at good ole Wally-world, although grocery is the wrong adjective.  Bought more stuff for the house than for the stomach.  That seems to be the case these days.

Anyway, while there, met one of the co-managers.  I knew him because we've talked before.  Once I wanted to exchange my Keurig Vue to one that took k-cups.  He was most accommodating.  Then, too, when I receive outstanding service-which I have on several occasions, I make a point of it to pass along the information, in hopes the employee will receive some kind of recognition for their hard work.  Have spent more than my fair share of days employed in stores and it's no picnic.  I once grumbled to my manager that if a customer complimented me, how nice.  But, if they were disgruntled, they'd call corporate.  Thanks a lot. My manager was kind enough to send a complimentary letter on to corporate.  It was very comforting-but I quit a few weeks after she was demoted.

Long story short, when I crossed paths with the co-manager this morning, I asked him if he'd consider doing a book signing for a local author (me).  He really seemed to like the idea, but of course, has to go through the home office.  He could make no promises, but he sincerely congratulated me.  Very encouraging.

Like I said, all they can do is say "no."  Stay tuned.

Learning, but a long way to go.

This morning's experiment was only partially successful, as you can see.  I was able, with a great deal of help from my husband, to add a picture to the blog.  However, it didn't land where I wanted it to.

Baby steps.  I have to remember to take baby steps. When you reach 70 and are still learning, I guess it's a good thing.  It's humbling to know everyone else know's how ignorant I am in the gadgets this world depends on.

I'd so much rather talk to a person.  But, I'm repeating myself, so I'll say thank you to  my patient husband, to my granddaughter, and to my friend who's blessed me with her expertise to help me get started. One of these days, hopefully, I be comfortable with this contrary gadget.  I can dream, can't I?

Oh, the rose in the experiment was a tip to the fact that, at 12:10 AM, "The Color of Roses" was returned to the publisher after yet another edit.  I received an immediate e-mail stating that any more changes would cost me, so I sincerely hope all goes smoothly and there's no need for corrections.  Memories of college days, however, do not give me much hope.  No matter how many times I edited a paper, it always came back with misspelled words circled.  Drove me crazy then.  Drives me crazy now, but as everyone like to say, it is what it is.  

Wow!!!!

Wow!!! The publishers have returned my manuscript review and I was blown away.  It's another step in the process I didn't expect to go through, but the results were so good I don't mind.  All I can say is, Thank you, Lord!

In the General Overview, the editors called it an "engaging work of fiction."

In manuscript's strengths, they said "Readers will not only stay absorbed in the text as the book is very well written, but will also have a sense of closure as they finish the book.  The editors go on to call me a talented storyteller (Thank you!).  To them, "characters seem realistic and contain relatable emotional expressions."

In their view, "The storyline contains many essential values, opening the readers eyes to Christian virtues in which readers can use to cross-examine his or her life."  They got it, they totally got it.

Of course there are always areas of improvement and the only suggestion made was that I add a prologue.

28 years in the making.  Thank you, Lord, for your patience with me and thank you friends, for your encouragement and thank you editors at Xulon for being so kind.

Stay tuned.

Reasonable?

II Peter 3:11 says "Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be?  You ought to live holy and godly lives."  (NIV)   Verse 14 says, "So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with Him." (NIV)

As I read those words, I was reminded again of why I wrote "Color of the Roses."  The church has been called a hospital for sinners instead of a museum for saints.  I agree, but if the churched aren't living any differently than the unchurched, how will people get the help they're seeking?  Where will they find peace with God?  It's been said that Christians can be more a part of the problem than a part of the solution.  It troubles me.

The Pro-life ministry, unbeknownst to many, is a place of refuge for the hurting seeking help.  It's not only for saving babies.  I believe if  the mother understands how much you love her and want to help her, she'll make the right choice.

Going back to the Scriptures quoted, I realize they're about the end times.  The principle is the same.  We are always to live as though this is the last day of our lives.  Dr. David Jeremiah says that one of the crowns Christians will receive in heaven and cast at Jesus' feet is the crown of victory-which is given for self-discipline. Where's the self-discipline of Christians, when our churches are filled with couples living together outside marriage, affairs, child-molestation, multiple divorces and remarriage?

Job, in Chapter 31, talks about the ways he disciplined himself never to look lustfully at a woman.  In verse 12 he states that adultery is "a fire that burns to Destruction."

Granted, that's not the only sin that weakens the church, but after spending several years in the Pro-life ministry, my heart is broken at our lack of recognition that all sin is against God.  In Psalm 51:4, David said, "Against You and You only have I sinned.."  In Genesis 39:9, Joseph told Potiphar's wife that he couldn't "do such a wicked thing and sin against God."

If I sound preachy, please understand I preach because I love.  "Color of the Roses," due out in a few months, is not preachy.  It's a story of a man who lost his way and a woman who didn't.  One of my editor friends said she liked the characters because they are so pure.

I liked that.  Whenever I read a book or watch a movie, I'm always disappointed if the main characters are not living a lifestyle that encourages me to be the Christian I claim to be.  Purity may be an unpopular subject in today's world. However, isn't it about time we Christians live what we claim to believe?  Am I being reasonable?