The past couple of weeks have been difficult, but at the same time, encouraging. This morning's messages from the pastors on TV that we watch had some really good news for me.
My book has flat-lined. Not good. I've received no royalties in spite of the fact I was told I did "very well" at the Frankfurt, Germany, book fair. What's up with that? This morning Andy Stanley talked about our life experiences as a "treasure chest." He made an excellent point when he asked who could possibly have a better perspective on marriage than someone who's been divorced? He's right. Faults and failures are a part of all our lives. Why not put them to good use?
Therefore, all my negative experiences in attempting to write have a purpose. Not only am I learning and being humbled, but I can share with others mistakes I made that they can avoid. Self-publishing is definitely one of them.
Refusing to learn how to use the computer and social media is another. I've found people who were friends and neighbors when we were growing up. That has been an absolute joy. I doubt I'll ever become a computer junkie, but it has some good points. Via Facebook, my friends and I have been talking about childhood memories. I was surprised to learn they, too, suffered insecurities about their childhood. But our parents brought us up, so we have no right to put them down. They did the best they could. My friends and I seemed to have learned that lesson. There were happy memories, too. They're the best kind to remember.
Struggles with keeping my weight under control has been an issue since I was 13. A long time. A really long time. Even when I wasn't fat, I carried all my weight in front, making me look fat. Unfortunately, I used that excuse to not get the weight where it belonged for too many years to count. Several months ago I came across a Bible study that finally answered my questions and the weight has come off. Then I discovered, thanks to the same woman who introduced me to the Bible study, another book that will enable me to keep it off.
It was a book I just couldn't keep to myself. I wanted some friends of mine to enjoy the same freedom I've learned to have, so I bought 4 of them to pass out to my friends. One woman has already told me she couldn't wait till she went on vacation to read it and what she's read already gives her encouragement.
At my age, who has escaped failing health? What are we going to do about it? Sit down and wait to die? Bore everyone to tears listing our medication list on our Christmas cards? Don't laugh. That actually happened. I believe it was Michael Youseff who said this morning that people see you when you succeed, but they watch you when you're suffering. So what are they watching when they see us suffering? A whiner? A complainer? A quitter?
That was what I wanted to do a little over a week ago. Since that time, so many people have said, "Keep going." Thanks to their encouragement, I will. I noticed a lot of the pastors on TV have begun to use life application videos before their message. That's what I want to do with my books. A life application message for those who may not get the connection between Scripture and life.
Now that I think about it, the same thing happened when I was a student. I went back to college at the age of 45. Graduated 30 years after high school graduation. I'm so glad God doesn't count slowness as people do! While I was a student at Moody Bible Institute, there were several times I wanted to quit. I would look at all those young people around me and wonder what I was doing there. I'd tell myself to grow up, get a job, and get on with life. Along would come something to keep me from quitting. One time it was a student chapel in which they sat an empty chair on stage and said it represented the ones who wouldn't be there next semester. I didn't want to be that one. Another time it was the President of the school, Joe Stowell whose President's chapel message spurred me on to stick it out. Another time, it was the first chapel of the new semester. Over the summer, 6 people affiliated with Moody had died. I sat it awe of God's amazing grace to allow me to be a student there after the lives of 6 people who had more potential than me were gone.
I ask myself if I quit, who will not get the message I was chosen to deliver through my faults, mistakes, and weaknesses? Stay tuned.
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