Thursday, September 25, 2014

Keep up, Grandma!

Trying to write my second book is a big challenge.  Plot, characters, and location aren't the problem.  What then?  It's the times.  I never noticed how much has changed in my lifetime.  Oh, sure, hair styles, clothing styles, and cars among other things have changed.  That's why I don't like modern or contemporary furniture.  It's obsolete long before we can afford to replace it.  Even worse, it looks so uncomfortable, uninviting, and cold.

I never thought about it, but names also become obsolete.  When I did remember, characters in this book are in their 20's  and couldn't have names like Barbara, Sharon, Bill, or Richard.  No, it's Amber, Ashley, Courtney, Paige, Kevin, Zachary, Brad, etc.  Now, people in their 20's are recycling names from my mother's generation.  Isobel, Charlotte, Sophia.  Boys are given Biblical names.  My great grandson is Elijah.  A boy in our church is "Levi," and there are lots of Jacobs around.

If I want to be relevant, I have to know these things.  Just a few years ago, an award winning best selling author had a carborater go bad in her car.  That word is so obsolete I couldn't even find it in the dictionary to spell it right!  Her editor should have caught that. Our 1987 Bonneville had computer chips that went bad repeatedly.  It took five terrifying years to get it corrected.  (It would die when you tapped the brakes.  Try that on the interstate when 18 wheelers are climbing your tail pipe in Chicago rush hour traffic at 75 mph)  Anyway, that's how I knew cars in the 2010's don't have that thing I can't spell.

The first book was not a problem in that regard.  The characters were my age when the story took place in the 1980's.  Back then, people had names I was familiar with and I used them, but now, I'll have to get my granddaughter's approval for expressions as well as names.  I've noticed ads in the newspaper no longer say "throw" pillows.  They're "toss" pillows.  When did that happen?  Now that the coffee table is the size of a small bedroom, have they changed the name, too?  Are crossword puzzles still popular or are they all doing sudoku?  For that matter, do they read newspapers?  Even that's going electronic.

It seems like about every expression I use, the TV says it's a no no.  I described a character as a "hunk."  Unh uh.  So, I changed it to "hot."  Nope.  What do they say these days?  Someone asked me if I wrote about men from a man's point of view.  Not possible.  I'm not a man.  How am I going to write about 20 somethings if I don't even know what to call them?  Never mind all their electronic gadgets.  That's been a real nightmare.  It's not been too long since they started talking about "Crackle" on TV.  What's that?  For that matter, it won't be long before my 4 year old great-grandson will vaguely remember TV as a thing in his very young life.  Now, everything is being streamed onto ipads, iphones, and maybe even iwatches.

I'm trying kids, I really am, but Grandma is huffing and puffing, just trying to catch up.  Unfortunately, I feel like getting behinder and behinder.

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