Drawing a blank.

For some reason, the past 4 days, I've drawn a blank.  I do that.  In fact, I'm a very different type of writer.  Most authors  will set certain amounts of work to be done each day.  They'll see to it that they write so many words, so many pages, or for so many hours every day.  Not me.  If I can't think of anything to say, I don't write.  That doesn't mean I'm being lazy, however.  Or undisciplined, which is what "real" authors would call it.  While I'm having down time, I'm thinking.  For example, book 2, Prompted by Love, is pretty much finished.  Editing touches, as always, but for the most part, finished.  Like my friend quotes, "An artist never finishes the work, but just abandons it."  True, but until it actually goes to print, I'll be tweaking.

When I'm not tweaking, I'm writing-in my mind.  That's what got me started in the first place.  The Color of Roses would not get out of my head until I woke up one day in May of 2009 and decided to put it on paper hoping that would help get it off my mind.  It worked.

Since I have sequels in mind for Prompted by Love, there's plenty to write about.  It's about six women, so I have more than enough material to put in more than one book.  I've already decided the sequel will be titled My River of Delights.  Maybe, maybe book 3 will be Keeping It Real.  One of the things that relaxes me and helps me go to sleep is to write in my mind. Maybe I shouldn't say that. My follower or two may think I'm bored with my own work.  No, I like my characters.

They also surprise me.  For example, when I was writing Prompted by Love, the character I had originally intended to be the antagonist (bad guy) in write speak, turned out to be a nice guy.  The one I had no intention of doing anything with other than be a supporting character gets a lot more ink than I originally intended.  I  had the same thing happen in The Color of Roses.  Characters seemed to have a mind of their own.  Many authors have said the same thing.  Weird, but true.

Many have asked for me to do a sequel to The Color of Roses and I'm not opposed to the idea, but as I've said before, I don't write to entertain.  I write to educate.  As of this moment, I don't have anything I want to say about that family that will share God's love and the need to see His way as best.  There's a wealth of material, but it just hasn't bubbled up in my pea brain, yet.  Summer's coming and school will be out.  Perhaps I can concentrate more on writing then.  I hope so.  I really do like it.  Since I got such a late start, I have lots of make up for.

Engage brain before opening mouth.

Ever have days you just can't seem to keep your foot out of your mouth?  It seems like I've been doing it so much I'm developing a very bad habit.

It started last week when I blogged about my son and grandson.  They weren't too happy with me. Then in chapel on Tuesday morning, the trivial pursuit the principal often uses to begin the day included a question about a politician with whom I vehemently disagree and said so in front of the boys.  I nicknamed him a "traitor." It fits but it was the wrong way to answer in front of impressionable boys.  I truly want them to learn to vote prayerfully and logically rather than emotionally and loyally.  My answer was emotional and I was wrong.

I apologized to the principal and was willing to ask the boys' forgiveness.  However, he and I agreed that such a move might stir the pot, so to speak.  He felt like it passed over them and none have asked me about it.  I can only hope they forgot about it.  If any had asked me about my comment, I would have apologized to that one and told them why I was wrong.

One of the biggest complaints about our schools and colleges is that students are being brain-washed instead of being taught.  My comment was along those lines.  I've asked the Lord to forgive me and I know He has, but I also pray the boys weren't affected by it.  I so appreciated my college education from Moody bible Institute.  We were taught to think for ourselves.  Disagreeing with the professor, on one occasion brought a comment of "This is excellent!"  None of this dropping our grades or embarrassing us in front of the class.  We were encouraged to disagree, but we had to be ready to defend our position.  We learned to think for ourselves.  That's an education.

My next blunder came about yesterday.  We have a boy who will graduate in just 5 weeks.  I may be giving him more credit than he deserves and again, my actions may have been inappropriate.  He's brilliant, (a 29 on his ACT and now getting scholarship offers from all over the country) but he has issues, the biggest of which is immaturity.  His senior presentation is about "hacking"  and he only wants to warn the audience about the dangers.  He said he doesn't want the boys to fall asleep, so I suggested some graphics that are funny that will keep them interested.  I forgot how easily he is distracted.  When he saw the graphics I pulled off my program and took them to church for him to look at, the pastor told him not to take them to the youth building and I realized I'd messed up again.

Now, I need to emphasize to him the difference between being witty and being silly is that witty will make people pay attention to his subject and being silly will only make people pay attention to him-and probably laugh at him, not with him.  Not good for a boy who is about to enter college very shortly.

I want to teach our boys the same way I was taught-to think for themselves.  Lately I haven't been doing too good.  It's time to open mouth and remove foot!

Celebrate!

Today is my friend's birthday.  She and I have been friends for so long we can't remember when we met.  She lived at one end of the block and I lived at the other.  Before we were born, there were 2 generations of our families living in our small town a few miles southwest of Pittsburgh.

When I called to wish her a Happy birthday, she insisted she didn't want to own up to birthdays any more.  Too many of them have occurred.  I have a different perspective.  I believe the Lord has graced this world with a wonderful person for lo, these many years.  I can't imagine how drab this world would be had she never been born.

Remember the Christmas movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Steward and Donna Reed? Well, in my friend's case, it's the movie come to reality.  This world has been greatly enriched because God brought you to our little town.  Therefore, Dear Friend, Happy Birthday!!  and many, many more.

Food for thought

I attended a Bible study yesterday that had some very important information regarding Islam.  So few of us truly understand Islam and yesterday proved it.  However, I'm not writing about Islam.  That was the topic of discussion, but before we got started, several of the women were discussing the immorality in the church.  I'm not the only one who's concerned.

However, as I listened to them, I wanted to ask how many of us would die before having an affair, but devour romance novels that paint pornographic pictures in our minds?  I'm sure we'd all have agreed that pornography is repulsive, dangerous, and ungodly, but would that stop us from attending an r-rated movie that does far more than paint a picture in our imaginations? And, how much of it permeates our home via TV?  I'm almost to the point that I want to get rid of the TV.  Foul language and pornography is about all I see and hear on the stupid thing.

The Bible study I just completed said in an early lesson that there may be other issues come to light as well as the problem with food addiction.  One of the things the Lord has convicted me of is sanctimosity.  What right do I have to tell others immorality is wrong when I'm addicted to food?
That thought troubled me every time someone mentioned immorality yesterday.

Yes, it's a huge problem and it's hugely destructive, not only to the church at large, but the individuals engaging in what belongs between a husband and his wife.  But, while I'm busy pointing that arthritic finger at others, what is God trying to tell me?  He knows I have many things in my own life that He intends to deal with sooner or later.

Until He convicts me, I need to focus on Him.  If I want to truly be Christ-like, I need to know Him as He truly is and I can't do that and be looking around at others and what they need to correct in their lives.

FREE!

Free!  Thank God I'm free at last!  This morning, I finished The Lord's Table, a 60 day Bible study about weight loss.  Yeah, right, been there, done that, you may be thinking.  Me too, at first. However, this study is different in that it teaches feasting on the Lord instead of feasting on food.  It's filling the empty place that food has not and never can touch.  It's not about behavioral modification. It's spiritual renewal.  That's why it worked where all others failed.

One of the final lessons used the Scripture about Jehoshaphat.  Before Jehoshaphat went to war, he sent the musicians in on the front line to praise the Lord!  Then came the warriors.  Because he did that, Israel defeated their enemies.  I learned to praise God for the victory before it happens.  He'll take care of the rest.  I also learned that not only did Christ pay my penalty for the sin of obesity on the cross, he provided victory that day over it!

That loud clanking you hear is the sound of chains breaking as I am finally free of the bondage to food. Addiction is a terrible thing and I've been addicted to food my entire life.  I've made the remark that I felt like a tennis ball, batted back and forth between dieting and gluttony, but always thinking about food.  The beautiful thing is that I don't have to do that.  In thinking and depending on the Lord, food takes it's proper place in my life.

When I first began the study, it was about losing weight and I've lost tons over the last 50+ years. Lose, gain was a vicious cycle in my life.  It made me afraid to say I had finally licked the problem. However, as the study progressed, so did I.  Now I can say with confidence I am free because I'm not depending on me.  I'm depending on the Lord.  Now I can say it's no longer about losing weight. Now it's about seeking God's Presence and ridding myself of anything that stands between us.

I haven't lost it all-not in 60 days, but my weight is lower now than it's been in 3 or 4 years.  And, I'm not done.  I'll continue to follow the eating schedule as long as it takes.  And I'll be singing God's praises as I go.

The devil made her do it.

This morning's Bible study brought to mind something that happened many years ago in Hawaii. Bob was not a Christian then and I was surprised he agreed to go with the boys and me to see a Christian illusionist.  It was even more surprising that he was enjoying himself thoroughly.  He roared with laughter when the illusionist took his life in his hands by turning my purse upside down and several silver dollars "fell out."  Bob knew there was so much more in my purse that could have fallen out on the man's head.

I was not done being surprised when Bob continued to sit through intermission even though the illusionist announced the second act would be a presentation of the Gospel.  I was sure Bob would leave, but he didn't.

The biggest shock of all was yet to come.  We were sitting on the end of the aisle that stretched almost all the way across the auditorium and most of the chairs were empty due to intermission.  A plump woman, probably in her fifties, came past all those empty seats (She could have gone around since we were in about the 3rd of 4th row from the front.)  Her long hair was rolled up on the nape of her neck the way my mother wore her hair in the 40's and 50's.  This was the late 70's.  Her dress, as I remember, was a dark blue print with 3/4 length sleeves as well as modest hem and neck lines.  A dear saint of God.  Since it was Sunday, she probably hadn't changed out of what she wore to church. In the tropics, the first thing believers do after church is change into comfortable clothes and sandals. Not her.  She even had on her pantyhose and pumps.

Bob and I hadn't noticed that there was a young man sitting in front of Bob. He, too, stayed in his seat during intermission.  That dear saint continued to march past all those empty seats.  We were expecting her to excuse herself and move into the aisle, wondering why she didn't go the other direction.  She was sitting on the opposite aisle and her trek would have been much easier.  Instead, on she came.

Her voyage across the sea of seats halted in front of Bob.  She bent over, and began whispering in the ear of the young man sitting in front of us!  At that time, Bob was contemptuous of overweight people and here was one whose backside was literally inches from his face.  His eyes grew wide with horror as he scrambled to his feet.  Still, he didn't leave, just stood in the aisle by his chair for what seemed to be an eternity.  Still she didn't move.  Why didn't she sit in the empty seat next to or in front of the young man?  She could have stepped into the aisle and stood beside him.  Why did she have to bend over so rudely right in front of the man whose chapel had been praying for ever since they knew he'd be attending the performance?

Finally, tired of waiting for her to leave, Bob said, "I'm going to the car."  I was crushed.  Others in the audience who saw what was going on were in as big a state of shock as we were.  That week, in Bible study, the chaplain said, "Mary, the only thing I can think of to say is that sometimes the devil uses Christians, too."  It was no comfort, but it was the truth.

However, the good news is that while the devil won that battle he lost the war.  God is so good.

In a jam

Yesterday, I was in a pickle, but I neglected to mentioned why the title.  Jordan chose not to be baptized in the Jordan River while he was in Israel, but he did bring back pickles for his grandma!

Today, I'm in a jam because I think that blog went to Facebook.  How it got there is beyond me.  I am so woefully ignorant of all things electronic, I am dangerous on this gadget.  But, will my grandson forgive me for what went throughout the world, unintentional though it was?

I can only hope he will and pray that somehow, someone will teach this silly old woman how to navigate this manipulative machine.

In a pickle

Well, our beloved grandson, Jordan, just made a big liar out of his grandma.  He was so excited about being baptized in the Jordan River while he was in Israel and then he backed out-after I told every body and their brother about the upcoming event!

He hasn't talked to me, yet, so I can only go on what his dad says. According to Dan, Jordan was afraid it would become a thing of pride and he wasn't willing to risk that.  Hmm.  I remember his dad saying the same thing when he was that age.

Dan had been accepted to Letourneau College in Texas, about 90 miles east of Dallas.  His then girlfriend and now wife, Tina, had checked with modeling agencies in St. Louis in the hopes they could pay their way through college by modeling.  Both had everything they needed to do the job.

In fact, I had to threaten more than one woman on more than one occasion to stop messing with my son's soul.  One woman was married, 27, had 3 kids and made an absolute fool of herself over a 15 year old boy!  Mama bear stepped in and made her sentiments (claws) known.

Dan, however, refused to even apply at agencies in Dallas once he got to Texas.  His reason?  He believed the Lord had called him to the mission field and he was afraid if he started making that kind of money, it would come between him and the Lord.  A friend later asked me, "How did he get so wise?"

Dan's not sure Jordan is being totally honest with himself or others about the reason he backed out, just as I'm not sure Dan was ever truly honest about his reasons for refusing to model.  I was disappointed at the time, but now I realize the Lord had other plans.  Modeling doesn't exactly have the kind of reputation to inspire confidence in a mother's heart and perhaps the Lord knew there would be temptations that Dan would not resist.

I just hope Jordan doesn't regret his decision somewhere down the road.